For the past few months, I have been purposefully secretive and personal about my spiritual level. It is a period that I have to go through and must endure from time to time. When I get farther from Allah =(, immediately my inner state switches from content to anxious. I literally get depressed, sometimes for days, weeks, or months. It is a gaping hole that cannot be filled by any other outlet. I have come to realize that the sweetness that I have previously felt from even a drop of imaan is the only true source of contentment! This is why I need time to reflect on my own to really grasp the importance of Islam in my life. Anything that results in my betterment must be the straightest path (God knows best).
That being said, I do like to motivate others to feel what I feel, especially ones I hold dear and close to my heart. So maybe it might be beneficial to be more expressive on Tumblr and/or in person about it, I am not sure. Whether I decide to or not, it is my duty to spread knowledge; It is every Muslim’s duty. Achieving the state of God-consciousness is not our ultimate goal. Once we feel we have achieved a bit of taqwa, we have to spread it. We have to because we will be questioned about it.
But I feel if I’m not conscious of God, I do not have the merit to advise others. Yes, I can still benefit them, perhaps even change their entire lifestyle, but that is really hard for me to do without the driving force. How can I advise others when I cannot advise myself? Make dua.
That is my jihad.
"I’m not moody. Sometimes I just succumb to the weight of life. The gentle souls that touch my life in my later years inevitably bear the brunt of the lessons learnt at the hands of the despicable souls in my earlier years. What didn’t kill me didn’t make me stronger, it only made me more jaded, but progressively more impatient. I keep lying to myself thinking that survival implies strength, when in fact it simply implies adaptability. Knowing how to dodge the bullet doesn’t make me bullet proof. It simply makes me smart enough to know when to duck. But eventually, I get tired of ducking and instead, I stand square-shouldered facing the onslaught with eyes wide open, my heart gently ticking away in my chest, waiting for what I always knew was inevitable, knowing that it will hit me hard, but defiantly standing there waiting to see exactly how hard it’s going to hit."
"We tend to think animals are lower than us, but all the scientists in the world couldn’t design and operate a bumblebee’s wing. We can’t jump or run very fast, and we can’t carry vast weights like an ant can. We can’t see in the dark and we can’t fly except crammed in a noisy tube like sardines, which doesn’t count. Humans compared to animals are almost totally deaf, and we can’t smell a fart in an elevator by their standards. We are finite and separate, and neurotic, while the consciousness of an animal is at peace and eternal. We strive and go crazy to become more important. Animals rest and sleep and enjoy the company of each other. We think we have evolved upwards from animals but we have lost almost all of their qualities and abilities. The idea that animals don’t have consciousness or that they don’t have a soul is rather crass. It shows a lack of consciousness. They talk, they have families, they feel things, they act individually or together to solve problems, they often care of their young as a tribal unit. They play, they travel, and medicate themselves when they get sick. They cry when others in the herd die, they know about us humans. Of course they have a soul, a very pristine one. We humans are only now attempting with the recent rise in consciousness to achieve the soul that animals have naturally."
— Stuart Wilde
I feel down by how selfish people can get. But then I think that I probably show myself as a selfish person from time to time. I don’t want to judge anyone. Everyone has their reasons.
I especially see it in the workforce.
"Narrated by Ibn Mas’ud (RA): The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to take care of us in preaching by selecting a suitable time, so that we might not get bored. (He abstained from pestering us with sermons and knowledge all the time)."
"Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you."
— Carl Jung (via perfect)
(Source: 13neighbors, via kingxiii)
When I’m going towards my deen, all aspects of my life fall into place. True deen forces one to be moderate in all endeavours in life. There is no greater beauty.
"Whenever you speak, remember, there is only an audience of One."
— Rumi (via ammarmali)